New Years Eve: the Choice of a Lifetime
by MissDevon
Summary: John has a surprise date planned for Natalie on New Year's Eve as well as that talk that they just can't get around to having. With memories of what the date should be is it really the best way? edited for problems with upload


AN: just a little plot bunny that started running around based on a couple of spoilers and wanting to give Jolie thier talk and a happy ending before moving them to a different "place" it's AU based on the promo and RC, but I couldn't help myself considering other rumors.

I also have another happily ever Joliday (to borrow a phrase) fic in the works that I need to type up. incomplete it's over 20 pgs handwritten in a journal. New chapters of _Enchanted, The Switch, Explosive Legicies _have been found and are redy to be typed along with some shorts as well as the ending to this. Hope you enjoy

PS: Also a special thanks to _PCGirl_ for being a sounding board for about 3/4 stories that have certain elements in them that I wanted to get just right. Since this just came to me today I only took one of your ideas, although it def. was a major recommendation, and the major reason for this AU storyline.  
I hope I do your NYE Jolie a justice.  
MissDevon

_**New Years Eve: the Choice of a Lifetime**_

John stood outside the door of Landfair hoping that Natalie would be the one to answer it. He knew that she would be worried about why he was early for their New Year's Eve date, but what she didn't know was that he had more planned for her and their son's first birthday than she could've imagined.  
Truth was he wasn't a man of words.  
Anyone who knew John McBain knew he was a man of action. And action was what he had put in motion since he had found out that Roxy had given Natalie a misconception of how he had felt- or at least as close as he could get to finding it out with all the interruptions that they had been getting now that they weren't avoiding each other.  
But this night… well, it was going to be what she deserved and more.

"John?" Natalie said surprised pulling him out of his thoughts as she opened the door, balancing Liam on her hip. Her hair was falling out of her ponytail and her clothes were mussed, but he had never thought she looked more beautiful.  
This was the Natalie he fell in love with.  
The confident one, who he knew struggled with her feelings like he did, and the way she was biting her lip he could tell she was unsure of why he was there so early. Her next words confirmed it: "Don't tell me, you got called in and we have to cancel tonight," she said, the light in her eyes dimming a little as she looked over to her son.

John smirked: "Mind if I come in?" he asked, wanting to keep her off balanced. There were advantages to that, he knew well. If he didn't she might suspect what he was up too.

"Oh, sure," she said a bit embarrassed, allowing him to step into the entryway. "So… umm… the reason you're here so early?" she wondered as he closed the door and then Liam reached out to him, causing her to smile. The way John scooped him up, brushing his arm against her waist was so right, she thought. She didn't want to loose that feeling, and was afraid she would.  
In truth that was why she was so on edge, she remembered what she had lost last year on this night, but looking at Liam, she couldn't help but be happy at what she had gained.

"No burglers this year," he cut into her thoughts.

"So not funny," she told him, a touch of anger surfacing that he would make light of what tonight should have been.

"Yeah, guess that was in bad taste," he conceded as he followed her into the empty living room. "So, listen, I managed to get the whole night, not to mention tomorrow off- for both of us.  
And I mean, off. Not even on call.  
Possibly a couple more days if we decide to take them….a few of the guys were willing to cover for us so we could spend Liam's first birthday together and have some family time."

"That was nice of them," she said as they sat on the couch and she played with Liam's hand. "Then again, most of them probably owed you for covering for them on holidays and for family events."

He smirked: "yeah, well I wanted to use the time last year…"

"I know," Natalie said with a simple smile as she reached out and covered his hand with hers. "So, I take it you have something planned."

"Oh, you do, do you?" he teased as he handed a leaning Liam over to her.

"It's something in your eyes McBain. So spill," she said as she happily bounced Liam on her lap. "Dinner at Rodi's? A walk through Angel Square?"

"Am I that predictable?" John asked, earning an 'are you kidding me look,' from Natalie in return, before she put an antsy Liam on the floor at their feet. "Well, I have something else planned. Pack a bag. One for you and one for Liam."

"My family's going to expect to spend his first birthday with him, John. They've already planned a huge party for him and Ryder tomorrow!" she protested.

"I know. I got an invitation," he told her as he pushed a piece of hair out of her face. "Considering it's for two one year olds, I would've had it earlier…"

"John…"

"I know, your family." he shrugged knowing that that said it all. "Look, we'll be back in plenty of time for the party. However, next year, and those following, can we have a separate party for Liam. I mean, they're not twins."

Natalie smiled: "I know… I kinda feel the same way… I guess I just want to see what it would've been like and, well the truth is- he's not going to know the difference this year and I just didn't have the heart to say no, especially since Jessie and I are starting to get close again and she was so excited about the idea."

"Well, we'll give him our own party in the morning," he told her.

"Oh we will, will we?" she asked with a laugh. "And just who will be there as guests?"

"Get those bags," he ordered by way of deflection.

"Might help if I knew where we were going, John," she shot back.

"Well, since I'm so predictable… figure it out," he teased her.

Rolling her eyes, Natalie got to her feet: "we are going to have that talk aren't we?"

"Definitely," John said as he picked up Liam from the floor. "Now, packing," he told her as she went to do just that. Looking at Liam he sighed: "OK, buddy, let's see if Daddy can pull off surprising Mommy without her killing me."

**Chapter 2**

Natalie carried Liam in his carrier into the suite John had gotten in a hotel in Atlantic City. "You had to pick one of the busiest nights of the years for us to come to a casino in AC?" she teased.

John shook his head as he pocketed the room key and put down the bags they had brought. "I have a surprise in store."

"Oh, you do, do you?" Natalie asked enjoying the easy banter they had fallen into on the drive to AC, even if they hadn't talked about what was really between them.

"Yeah," he replied as he moved towards her and signaled her to sit on the bed. Watching him suspiciously, she put Liam down on it in his carrier, as she busied herself with unstrapping the sleeping baby and unzipping his coat. She knew too well the mood John was suddenly was in. Watched the way he was almost stalking her as if he suddenly knew what he wanted, she realized. There was definitely that glint in his blue eyes that told her so- part arrogance, part boyish mischief. A look, she knew that she was the only one to bring out, so just what the hell was he up to? She wondered with slight unease."You actually going to listen to me?" he asked her.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice," she sighed, as she gave him her hand and let him move her over so she could sit on the bed. "So, the man of few words is actually going to speak?" she teased in a tense voice.

"I've been known to once or twice before," he shot back. "Seems I did it a year ago tonight."

"John…" she exhaled.

"I still have this," he told her and pulled their marriage license out of his pocket. "You realize that if Brody and Jessica had actually signed it, tonight would be our first anniversary?"

"Don't…" she sighed, pulling the paper out of his hands and putting it on the bed, resisting the urge to crumble it. "A paper that you kept doesn't erase the past pain I…"

"No,_ we_," John corrected, surprising her. "Don't say you put me through pain.  
I made decisions that hurt you too."

"Like sleeping with Kelly on what would've been our wedding night?" she asked angrily.

"Yeah. Not one of my finest moments," John agreed. "Neither was flaunting it in your face when we started to make progress. And you were right about me siding with Marty too.I thought I was doing the right thing, but I couldn't see pass her manipulations. I should've known if anyone could pretend a quick recovery a shrink could. Should've picked up on the things she was saying. That her obession with me was getting worse and took measures to protect Kelly, but more importanty you and Liam, because you were her main targets. Looking back I can't help but blame myself for what she did to you."

"You saved my life, John. You saved me. I could've let her fall; let her die, but all I saw in those moments was how Nash fell and I couldn't let that happen again.  
More than that you're the one who saved Liam.  
YOU brought him back to me," she continued choked up. "I could give you hell for _both _of those things, but I already have."

"Yeah. But you were going to forgive me for that one night with Kelly… I never got that," John told her.

Natalie sighed: "Kelly might be with my brother, but she's also one of the town's biggest sluts. I think I even heard Tina refer to her as a 'demonic whore in a box' once," she said, causing John to laugh, surprising her since she knew he had parted with the blonde as friends. " Look, I loved you and I wasn't going to give up on you.  
I took so many hits this past year.  
Then my pride kicked in, and you know how I get when that happens..."

"I'm not exactly innocent in that department," John cut her off as he sat down next to her. "My pride kept me from telling you that I loved you.  
From fighting to keep you and Liam in my life," he continued. "I couldn't take back the words or my actions anymore than you could.  
I didn't think you would forgive me."

"I was mad as hell, but I wanted you in my life," she told him. Her voice tightened as she continued: "it hurt that… that I overheard you say that you didn't love me anymore…"

"You didn't hear everything I said that night, Natalie."

"So Rox told me, in her tell it and screw it up way," she pointed out, trying to lighten the mood as she ran her hands up and down her legs before getting up to pace the room. "You know, I wasn't with Brody again… in that way… not for as long as people think. They don't know what we had... what I wanted... what Brody claimed he wanted…He said he wanted Jess… that's what he claimed but I saw the way his reactions to Bre and Ryder changed. Hoe he didn't interact with them. When he came to Landfair it was to see me and Liam," she told John as she pivoted and looked at him. "I knew deep down it wasn't me he really wanted.  
I mean he wasn't what I wanted you… you turned me away when we thought my father was dying," Natalie told him stiffly as she stopped to face him, having to get this out. "I needed at least my best friend and you told me it was over.  
So that night, when I go home… that was the first time we were together and than Jess walked in."

"I don't…" he started to protest, uncomforable with where this was going.

"John, I have to finish this, please," she swallowed. "I always felt it was wrong. But the more they pushed… the more you pushed me away…the more I had to prove I was right. That it wasn't about hurting Jessica. I tried to convince myself that I wasn't settling, damnit! The turth was I wanted the family I never had for Liam!"

"That's why I walked away," John admitted standing and crossing to her, seeing the confusion cross her face he continued: "I knew you wanted that dream. That somehow Brody would convince you to have it with him.  
By that point I felt so unworthy of you and Liam.  
How could I ask you to… to forgive me when I had all but thrown our family away?"

"Come on, John. The truth is you never really forgave me for not telling _you."_

John looked away at the words, "guess you still can't," she sighed as she walked back towards the bed.

"What I can't forgive is myself for being a stuborn fool, Natalie," he corrected her, surprised she turned to look at him. "There were times during your pregnancy- even before Marty found out- that you tried to tell me. In the questions you asked about Jess's situation- for a detective I was slow on the uptake."

"You've never said…"

"What? That I forgive you?" he asked. Exhaling, John stared at her: "I supposed a part of me felt I didn't have to. That you would know.  
I guess I should've known you needed the words, so I'll give them to you: I forgive you, Natalie," he continued watching the disbelife flutter over her face. " Look, I don't agree with what you did, and I sure as hell don't like the fact that we put each other through so much pain this pass year, but if you can forgive me for the pain I inflicted on you than I can certainly forgive you," he told her.

"It's not tit for tat, John," Natalie replied tiredly.

"No. It's** love**," he told her simply. "And that piece of paper is a reminder of that.  
Of a commitment we wanted to make to each other not so long ago."

"Do you think it would have made a difference if that robbery hadn't have happened? If we got married on time? If Brody and Jess had signed the liscenes?" Natalie challenged him. "The truth still would've come out. You still would've…"

"It would've hurt like hell," he admitted, cutting her off. "I might have walked…but if we had that paper and a marriage things would've been differnt. The truth wouldn't have come out at a church during our wedding in front of half the town, and the amount of pride that I had that got in the way wouldn't have been as large. I would've had a legal claim on Liam."

"You always did, you idiot," Natalie told him. "I never changed his birth certificate."

He sighed: "the fear wouldn't have been so strong that Brody would've taken my family away, alright?" he admitted reluctantly. "If we were married he would've had to deal with me.  
He wouldn't have wormed his way into our lives- yours- the way he did.  
Liam would have always been mine- and yeah, I would've hated sharing him. But you would have given me the strenght to," he finished at her look of disbelief.

"But you let him do it anyway?" she asked annoyed. "You just let me walk away with Liam? Was going to let me marry another man?  
Why? Why John? I never understood that part."

"Why do you think I was going to Seattle? I didn't want to watch another man with _my _family," he told her.

"If you had just said the words I never would have…"

"I was going to the night you told me that you and Brody were going to get married," John admitted, smirking he added: "I guess I have to learn to go first sometimes- but the thing is I wanted you to have that dream."

"Like I did with Jared?" she asked raising an eyebrow. "Don't lie to me. You hated that I was with him same way that I hated that you were with Marty.  
And you knew damned well that the person I wanted that dream with was YOU!" Natalie paused shaking her head in exasperation: "What was it you said in the airport when you stopped me from leaving town?"

"I don't know what we've been doing these last three years, but above all others I choose you," John repeated.

"Right," Natalie nodded as she collasped on the bed looked at Liam and then John. "And what does that mean? What if Liam wasn't yours? Would we be sitting here tonight having this conversation?"

"Considering you were going to marry Brody, probably not," John admitted dryly and earning a dirty look from Natalie, who had to admit, if only to herself he had a point. But she wondered how he was going to back out of the hole he was digging himself, surprising his next words did that: "But that doesn't mean that some time down the line we wouldn't have.  
We always find our way back to each other, Natalie. Doesn't that tell you something?"

Natalie exhaled: "a piece of paper doesn't erase a year of hurt.  
It might not have been as bad.  
I know you John, you would've stuck around because of that paper.  
Because you made a commitment… maybe its better that it wasn't signed," she said as she picked it up and turned it around in her hands.

"Do you really mean that?" John asked, hurt evident in his voice, as well as surprise.

"Yeah. We would've ended up resenting each other and hurting each other more that way," she told him honestly. "You are right, though.  
We always seem to find our way back to each other…" she paused looking at him as he came to sit next to her. " You know, my parents are working on getting back together.  
My Dad saids they're taking it slow. He didn't get why I was so excited that they might be. Reminded me they had been divorced twice and then… that I had never seen them married."

"Ouch."

"It's the truth," she said shrugging off the sting that the words brought, knowing her father hadn't meant them to hurt her. "But I told him, that as soon as I saw them in the room together the first time that I just knew they belonged together.  
I've heard people say the same about us."

"Funny think, so have I… even when we were with other people. People who didn't know assumed by looks…" John admitted to her with a smirk.

"If we didn't have Liam- not that I'd wish him away- but I'd be quicker to jump back in. I don't want him to be collateral damage in our relationship."

John nodded: "he never would be because we'd put him first."

"I'd like to think that."

"I know that," he told her sincerely. "We can talk or do something about us," John continued as he pulled a familiar ring box out of his pocket and went to one knee. "The choice is yours Natalie.  
Marry me.  
We can have all we ever dreamed of."

"So_ this_ was your surprise?" she asked through a lump in her throat.

John nodded, uneasily: "the church is ready.  
My Mom is here- and she can't wait to meet her grandson," he said causing Natalie to smile.|  
"She saids we're both idiots to not have known or had the tests redone considering how much he looks like you," Natalie chimed in trying to hold back tears of happiness.

"That's mom," he said simply. "Look, I have it all arranged.  
A couple of old friends to act as witnesses with Mom.  
A dress..."

"You picked out my dress?" Natalie asked, not sure if she should be scared at the thought or amused.

"I had help," he clarified earning a roll of her eyes. "So what do you say: do you want to marry me tonight? Finish what we started last year?"

"We started this longer ago than that, but yes: John Thomas McBain, I will marry you."

"Faster answer than last year," he said, causing her to punch him in the shoulder. "I do love you, and I won't stop.  
We're going to have those dreams, Natalie," he said as he pulled her into his arms for a hug, as Liam woke up and started fussing.

"Guess someone wants to join the party," she laughed, as she kissed him quickly and headed to the bed and picked up Liam. "Wanna see Mommy and Daddy get married tonight, huh?" she asked him as she bounced him on her hip.

Smiling John came over and took Liam from her: "and you have an appointment in the Spa to get ready. Go on I've got the kid."

"John…"

"My mom's already there with a couple of special people.  
I'll get myself and Liam ready and meet you at the church."

Natalie laughed: "That's not… aren't you forgetting something?" she asked.

"What?"

"The ring," she said on a laugh as her son swatted at the box his father held. "You haven't put it on my finger."

"You know it's not coming off this time, right?" he asked as he balanced Liam and put the ring on her finger.

"Yeah, I know, and you're not going to have to crazy glue it," she told him as she leaned up and kissed him.  
"Thank you for this.  
For forgiving me.  
Loving me…"

"I could say the same," John told her. "Even more importantly for giving me Liam.  
Now, it's not only above all others I choose you.  
Now it's above all others I choose us- you , me, and our son- and any others that might come along."

"Oh, that's definitely a conversation for later."

"Honeymoon…" he agreed leaning in and giving her a kiss that could turn quickly passionate if it wasn't for the squrming boy between them.

Shaking her head, Natalie pulled back and headed towards the door, "if I don't leave we're going to end up working on that sibling for Liam sooner than later."

"Right. After the wedding," he agreed with a wicked grin.

"I'll be the girl in… what color?" she teased.

"You'll see. Besides, with you walking down the aisle towards me how could I ever take my eyes off of you? Even in jeans a t-shirt you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen because you're _my_ woman."

"We're going to have to work on those possessives detective," Natalie chided as she grabbed her bag, causing him to laugh. "I'll see you at the end of the aisle," she told him as she hurried out the door to the hotel spa while his phone rang….


End file.
